You’ve probably seen lists like this. I just received one attributed to the Tony Robbins organization; I’ve received others in the past. Not bad advice, actually so I’ll share the one I just got with a few changes.

ONE . Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully, willingly- they can tell the difference. Under-promise and over-deliver.

TWO . Marry a man/woman you love to talk to and be with. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important or more important as any other attribute.

THREE . Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. Exercise integrity in these areas.

FOUR . When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it. Say it as often as you can while meaning it.

FIVE . When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye and acknowledge how you hurt/affected them.

SIX . Be engaged at least six months and together at least 3 years before you get married. It takes 3 years to really know a person. Anyone can be on their good behavior for a year, but in 3 years you’ll see their “stuff” and how they really live. Make sure you really know who you’re committing to be with.

SEVEN . Believe in love at first sight. Trust your gut, but follow #6 too.

EIGHT . Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

NINE . Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

TEN . In disagreements, fight fairly . No name calling. Be respectful. Say only what you wouldn’t mind everyone knowing you said.

ELEVEN . Don’t judge people by their relatives .

TWELVE . Talk slowly; give yourself time to evaluate what you’re about to say; it’s easier than trying to make corrections after the fact.

THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’

FOURTEEN . Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Remember #9.

FIFTEEN . Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze .

SIXTEEN . When you lose, don’t lose the lesson; spend some time reflecting on the lessons in the experience and you may not need to have an experience like that again.

SEVENTEEN . Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN . Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship; find the courage to repair the situation .

NINETEEN . When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. Apologize whenever necessary. See #5 .

TWENTY . Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice .

TWENTY- ONE . Spend some time alone. Keep a journal. Go for walks. Have time for stillness. Most of us DO too much anyway.